There are some people that you know forever.. and some people come and go quickly through your life. Jackie was one of those who only were in my life for a few years and yet she still holds a piece of my heart.

We met during 8^th grade but I can’t remember exactly how. In fact, after we were best friends, neither of us could remember how we met. All I remember is every day we would pass each other going to third period and we had this contest to see who could kick the other one first. It was really beneath me to do such an odd game but it seemed like the only connection we had. We would laugh and kick, and then slightly get mad at the other one for kicking so hard.

By the second week, seeing that my shins had tons of bruises on them I called a truce. She gladly conceded the game and after that we were best friends. Odd how those kinds of connections are made. I don’t remember having her in any of my classes but we must have somewhere. I only remember walking with her down hallways to various classes and having a locker near hers.

She was so different than I was which created another amazing fact that we got along. I was a young Christian that had standards but wasn’t preachy, and she was one of the ‘hoods’. You know the type.. they would go out to the woods at breaks to smoke cigarettes or joints. I don’t remember ever feeling judgmental towards her for having such a different lifestyle even though it was not something I wanted. Obviously she trusted me too.

I don’t remember ever talking to her about my faith or what I stood for. But somehow she just knew I was different and I think somehow it frustrated her even though she accepted it. I knew she smoked weed, and so one day she asked if I wanted to try it. I smiled and said no, while in my mind the idea flashed through making me wonder if I should. She continued her requesting saying that if I tried it once she wouldn’t ask me again. The more she asked, though, the more stubborn I became. We were right there in the middle of the hallway at school, with kids walking by us watching her get down on her knees begging me to try it once. By then I was laughing at her and she was laughing at me. I never did try it and she was fine with that.

One afternoon after PE I had decided to not shower completely and left my hair to wash later. Jackie walked up to me and asked me if my hair was wet. “No” I replied, “It’s just grease from not washing it today.” She died laughing. We continued along the hallway while she stopped every other person asking them if they thought my hair was wet, and then proceeded to laugh while informing them it was not wet.. only greasy! I never let another day in my life pass without clean hair, even to this day due to that incident.

Due to the fact that she was a ‘hood’ it was in her requirements to be rowdy in class and thus got detention regularly. One such day she was frustrated by the action because she said /this/ time it wasn’t her fault. I told her I would ride our horse up to the campus after detention and let her ride. Our property was situated some distance behind the school, but close enough to ride the horse up. That was a excellent afternoon riding around the football field with her.

She was a person I looked up to for worldly information though. She had the boyfriends, even if they were at times a whole foot shorter than her. She was making out in front of the buses saying goodbye to her boyfriend while I stood on the sideline watching and wondering when I would get a boyfriend to say goodbye to. After one such time she walked up and I boldly asked if she had been ‘frenching’ him. She laughed and said, “Yeah.. and I think he was chewing gum!” That was the epitome of grossness but still much cooler than not having a boyfriend at all.

She was never able to do things after school with me as she always had to head home to baby-sit her siblings. They lived in the poorest section of town that had the reputation of drugs and abuse. She hated her home life and felt totally used by her single mother which might have been a reason she choose to get detention and not have to go home every night. She never had a day off, or even a weekend free, unless it was only for the friends in the neighborhood. The mom had to work, or go overnight with her various guys. I don’t think they had much food as she was always thin and hardly had money for lunch ever. She said smoking pot helped her not be hungry.

Billy Graham came to town and I invited Jackie to come with us. She came and seemed to listen through the sermon. Afterwards, during the invitation, she asked what they were passing out down on the field. I explained they were giving out bibles and study guides for those who wanted to follow Jesus. She asked if we could go down there to see what was going on and talk to the people. I told her that she shouldn’t if she wasn’t serious, which dampened her mood and so she said.. nevermind. I regretted what I had said for a long time after that.

By night grade my folks had decided to move down to the Dominican Republic after Dad’s retirement so that he could be a principal at a private school down there. One of the only times I remember Jackie coming over to my house was during the time we were preparing to leave. She helped me pack up and threw tons of things out that I thought I needed, and she decided I didn’t. As odd things go, she is the one that taught me that Jesus wasn’t actually born on Christmas, and also how to move my feet while I danced. I actually asked my mom if we could take Jackie to the DR with us, and although my mom said sure, Jackie’s mom said she needed her to baby sit.

We left for the DR and Jackie and I exchanged letters every once in a while. Actually, I wrote her frequently and once in a while she would write me back. The letters were always missing me, and telling me that her life was still the same. Until one letter that she wrote explaining she had been to a church, and had given her life to Jesus. I was amazed and excited for her. I didn’t hear much from her after that during that year.

When I came home for the summer I looked her up. She wasn’t living at home anymore and none of our mutual friend knew where she had gone to. I tried for several weeks to find her. I called so many different people and numbers and yet no one had any specific news about her. I drove to the store with my brother and had a small conversation with God on the way and while I sat in the car while he went into the store. I asked him to just take care of her and keep her safe. I guess I just gave her to Him in a way. No more than two minutes after I finished that conversation, I looked up and there she was walking down the sidewalk in front of our car. I jumped out of the car and yelled at her. What a fun reunion. She said she would come over to my house the next day, explained where she lived, and gave me her number. I waited all day long and she never showed up so I finally called her. She was living with her boyfriend and said that he hadn’t wanted her to leave. So, kicking myself for not taking the initiative first,

I went over to see her the very next day. We sat on her bed and talked about her life, running away from home, living with her boyfriend, and trying to walk with Jesus as best as she could. We hugged each other and cried. Her boyfriend looked at us suspiciously from the other room which made us laugh and cry all the more! She was still skinny and still smoking pot. She informed me that she usually just lived on candy bars and a coke during the day.

After that day we promised to stay in touch and I would have gone back to see her again but we were leaving to go back to the DR in the next week. That was the last time I saw her. We did write a few times to each other during that year, and at the summer I was so very excited to try and look her up. I was living at my sisters at the time and was calling around to see if I could find her. I talked to my one sister about it and told her how frustrating it was trying to connect. She asked me to come with her into my bedroom and she closed the door. She sat down beside me on the bed and handed me a newspaper clipping. She said she didn’t know how else to tell me.

The clipping told how a young girl Jackie Plante, of Kent, age 16 had been hitch-hiking and had been raped and murdered. They had found her bones in a patch of woods up near where her mom used to live. I cried.

I still miss you Jackie!

so here's my second attempt at a first draft now that I've gotten more into the Bird by Bird book..

One of my very favorite memories is our old barn as a child. it was huge.. as tall as a 2 story house. I'm not sure how long it had been there by the time I was 8 but I'm guessing fairly long. The roof was still intact enough to keep several hundred bales of hay dry. But the walls were worn down and parting so that cracks were visible between some of the planks.
There was an overhang out side of the back of the barn where the cows would amble up to eat. There was a small area where you could stay inside the barn and throw them a section of the hay. The whole barn smelled of the dusty hay, dirt floor, manure from outside and the musty smell of the cows themselves. it was such a pleasant earthy smell and very comforting.

The barn was situated a good 500 ft away from any other house or building so once you were inside the huge barn doors, you felt isolated from the world. On sunny days I would escape there, and if it was near summer there would be a couple tons of hay in there. I would climb to the top and just lay there watching the dust and the hay float around in the streams of sunshine that came through some of the cracks in the walls, or through the hay window in the loft. I was totally alone but never felt lonely there. I would imagine God laying there beside me just enjoying the smells, and the streams of light. 'We' would watch the swallows darting in and out either making nests on the top rafter or feeding their babies. I was able to talk to Him easily there with no interruptions, and no feeling of pressure to be someone I wasn't.
The hay felt itchy but warm and the sounds of the birds and an occasional bee made for one of the most peaceful places I retreated to as a child.

(Well, not necessarily better.. but I did remember more details...lol)

Definitely a Sh.. first draft lol

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I’m lying on the top of a huge pile of hay-bales. There are probably over 100 bales in this old barn. I’m 8 years old and this is one of my favorite places to be alone. Even though it’s old, the roof is still sturdy with no cracks in it.. making a dry place for this hay. There is a huge doorway with a hayloft at the top. It usually is open so the sun streams through there. There is so much dust and hay in the air that the sun can catch it and create long beams in through the window.

Everything is quiet. I can’t hear any traffic, or activities at the house. Once in a while a random bee breaks the silence as it tries to find a way back outside.

The top beam is the perfect place for swallow’s nests. They dip and dive through the barn as they come and go from these nests. I could lie here and watch them all day. The cows come near the barn to eat so their smell mixes with the hay and the manure in an earthy smell that is familiar and comforting.

It was so quiet... and the sun would come through the big doorway... and make that stream in the dust...

Memory #2

It was either 1965 or 1968 and either around the month of April or June. I was in the front room of our large house. The room had a large sliding glass door looking out onto our back yard which had some grass on it but not many trees at that time. The reason I list both dates is that those were the date when I was little that major earthquakes hit Seattle. The one in 65 was registered at a 6.5 level.. and the one in 68 was a 4.6. With those numbers, I am leaning toward the idea that it occurred in 65 even though I would have only been 3 at the time.

As the house began to shake and move, I remember my mom calling me over to the sliding glass doors. We stood just to the side of the doors, but close enough that we could look outside. She bent over me and held me close as we watched the land outside move.

There were actually ripples in the ground; waves of grass moving toward the house. I had no fear and there were no major sounds that usually accompany earthquakes.

Other things I remember about that moment was that mom was thin.. and had dark hair. Two things that didn’t happen very often as I was growing up. She had some type of cotton shirt on and peddle pushers with loafers on her feet.

Amazing what you can remember from just 3 years of age.

Childhood Memories

#1

The basis of some of my memories are a mix of memory of the real thing.. and seeing pictures that remind me of them.

When I was four I went to live for a week with Grandma Wilson while my mom went for some surgery at the hospital. She lived in a little house behind the Catholic School in Renton. Aunt Mary, being slightly retarded, still lived with her. I don’t remember doing much that week with either of them. I have vague memories of Aunt Mary walking around saying ‘No’ before and after any sentence she said so I think she rather scared me at that age.

It must have been a pleasant week as I don’t have any memory of crying. I can only remember wearing a dress but not anyone dressing me. I wandered around her house looking at all her trinkets. She had them everywhere. The house was rather dark, and every shelf and table had some kind of object on it..usually several. One thing she had that fascinated me was a wooded box with various drawers in it. I would spend many minutes at a time looking into each drawer and replacing the little objects in it.

It must have been arranged for me to call every evening to see if Mom was back home or not. After those calls I would feel rather empty and lonely but I don’t’ remember crying. By the end of the week when I called Mom was finally home. I was so excited to be going home the next day. I don’t remember who came to get me although I assume it was Dad. I wore a dress with a suit type coat over it.

I walked into the house calling, “Mom’ as I went down the long hallway stopping at the corner to the front-room. I peeked my head around the corner and looked right down the next hallway. The turning to the left I saw her trying to hide against the wall smiling huge. I ran into her arms. That was one time I felt very secure with her.