THE WORD 'WORTHY' 1/1/2019

 Every January I choose a Word to represent my coming year. I always want it to represent what God is doing in my life and what I envision He will do in this coming year. When I first started this I chose Focus because I felt I needed to Focus on God. Then it was Discernment because I needed wisdom in choices. Last year it was Hope because that’s what I found in Jesus. This year I have thought about Joy, and Release and other words.. But I believe I have settled on the word Worthy. I chose this word, for starters, because Jesus is Worthy of my life, my time, my worship and my heart. But it also represents a walk I’ve had in the past 12 years learning that I am worthy because of what God has done in my life. 

For 50 years I had the unspoken belief that I had value when others determined I had value. If I did the right things, said the right things, and was the right kind of person.. To them.. Then I had value. So I tried hard to be perfect to everyone I was around, and I failed every time because everyone had a different view of who I should be, what I should be doing and the right things I should have said. So, I have taken a journey in the past 12 years of Celebrate Recovery and my own walk with God, to learn Who God created me to be, and how much I have value in His eyes solely because of His Son Jesus. It’s not dependent on my goodness, my faithfulness, the right words, the right actions… it’s not dependent on me. It’s dependent on the Worthiness of Jesus. That is freedom. Knowing I am living for the Audience of One and He already sees me as worthy of His Love. 

I have seen that I will not have intrinsic value to and unconditional love from everyone around me because, shockingly enough, I’m still not perfect! And maybe because of that understanding I am choosing the Word Worthy to remind myself this year, that  my worth is not dependent on others view of me, their acceptance of me, or their desire to have a relationship with  me; it’s not dependent on my words, my actions, or my purest desire to do the right thing. I am worthy because of God’s Love and He is worthy of everything already.