The Ministry of the Quiet Ones~

Even though my dad's main job was a principal in the public school district, he also served as an associate pastor and earlier in life was a pastor of his own small church. He loved working with the little kids in the elementary school and did a good job with that work. But it was very evident in small ways that he considered that his 'job' and his work at the church was the real 'ministry'. The church I grew up in was very strong in missionary emphasis and early on we understood, mostly nonverbally, that being a missionary was the pinnacle of working for God. Anything else you did in life was very good.. but it wasn't "ministry".

Even though I understood this concept, I don't remember anyone specifically saying that to me. I caught it more than was taught it, as so many issues in a child's life seem to be. Of course, I felt the intense desire to be fully used by God early on and just knew that God would use me as a missionary since that was the ultimate service for Him.

It seemed my chance came in High School when Dad retired early to become a missionary himself. He had lived a 'normal' life long enough and now wanted to really be used of God. Within months, he packed us all up and headed off to the Dominican Republic to be a principal in a School set up for missionary kids and other rich natives.
I had my ups and down there but never really got into the missionary spirit like I really thought I should. Life just seemed to work as normally down there as it did up here at home. No great spiritual highs or breathtaking moments serving God. I think I might have built up some ideas in my head during that time, that it wasn't that the experience wasn't right. I just wasn't enough for God to use that intensively.

That carried over into my marriage where I was content to be the support system, but deep down I 'knew' I was the support because I didn't have what it took to be an actual leader or more importantly, I had nothing to give to others.

After a few years, the kids started coming and we found ourselves planting a church. (Those details are not part of this story!) This church was very active in ministry even if it lacks other critical things. If someone needed prayer, a prayer team was sent out immediately. If someone needed anything.. it seemed Jim was one of the ones that were always called. He soon found himself on the worship team, and a few times was the worship leader. Needless to say, with three small kids, I was banished to the nursery room, or so it felt to me. Not only surrounded by my small kids but often keeping track of other ladies kids as they went out to minister. I did love my kids and loved being a mom, so I tried to reconcile this mundane task in that at least I liked my kids. But I found myself complaining inside, and finally started to just literally cry out to God when I was alone, that I wanted to do something important. I wanted to be ministering to others. I wanted to be where other's could see my walk with Him, (slight pride there..), and mainly I wanted to feel like I was of some use to God. I felt like He looked at me like my dad did; smiling but more like a 'you're a sweet girl.. but just sit in the nursery for now.." patronizing kind of brush off.

There have been about 4 times in my life, that I can say I 'heard' God speak to me. Not audible, but the thought that went through my mind was so opposite of what my natural thoughts would be and was so distinct, and so life changing, I knew it was a direct communication from Him. This was one of them. It came after one time I actually told Jim I wanted to go with him on a prayer ministry time. I had to bring the baby along and even though I prayed alongside Jim, I had to walk around a bit to keep the baby calm and quiet. After we had prayed and were getting up to go, the lady turned to Jim and specifically told him thanks for coming and praying for her. She said absolutely nothing to me. A very unspiritual frustration hit me.

But as I was complaining of this to God a thought hit me and made me stop in my tracks. "You are ministering. The job I have given you of taking care of these kids is as important, if not more important, than the limelight jobs I have Jim do. He is not working for the Kingdom any more than you are. What you are doing has eternal rewards and I am very pleased with what you are doing."

I sat there with my mouth slightly open at this new thought. I started laughing at the sheer joy of relief. And then He gave me a name for my ministry. It's called 'The Ministry of the Quiet Ones'. The members are those who do work that gets no praise or reward. The work that is backstage not in the limelight. Humbleness is the keyword for this ministry. Motherhood, visiting friends, making meals for those who are sick, prophesying only to babies, prayers for and with children, fruits of the Spirit working while you mop, or dust, or drive the kids around, or other countless jobs that someone does but no one notices… No one but God sees.
"Do not fear. I am refining you as silver. You will become silver I can polish through this process I'm taking you."

I asked myself what I feared after God showed me that last thought and it hit me that I feared what man may say. "Why aren't you speaking out in church or bible studies? Why don't you pray for those who need it? Why do you always end up in the nursery?" It had lots of focus on actions that could be seen by all. I had a fear that my spiritual walk with God would be judged by what they saw me doing.. or more importantly what they didn't see me doing.
The key to that was in God showed me my focus was the most important; Focusing on God would keep my eyes on Him and not on what others may think.

This process has continued over time. God has to remind me over and over again that my work is deep and important. But it has shown me in no uncertain terms, that what God considers a ministry, and what man considers a ministry, are usually two very different things. They can be the same thing. but God's definition is more expansive than man's meager one.

In retrospect, I feel my dad missed out on a simple but profound idea. And that was he was already doing a ministry of God that was just as important and just as pleasing to God when he was working day by day with the kids in the elementary school. He may have still wanted to be a missionary, I don't know.. but I do believe he would have felt more complete if he would have recognized this.

(just so I don't lose the comments over time)

Wow, Momma, I really like this post. I've had similar thoughts, but even more than that, I know quite a few people who have experienced similar things in the church, and they could benefit from seeing this thought out as you have done.
Thank you for your thoughts, as they have been encouraging to me. 8o)

William