Trusting God.....written by Morgan...
A firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. To depend on, believe and expect with assurance. A charge imposed in confidence in a relationship.

When you read the phrases above, what is the first term that comes to your mind? If you said trust, then you are right, for these sentences are from the trust sections in several dictionaries.

Trust is an action that we, as humans, employ throughout our lives. From the moment you can think through your actions you trust someone or something. A toddler grasps his mother’s hand in a strange place. A forth grader trusts her best friend with the secret of who passed her a love note in school that day. The newly licensed 16 year old trusts his mechanic that his car will run and he can continue looking cool in it. Employers trust their employees, patients trust their doctors, students trust their teachers. Trust can be so commonplace at times that you might not even realize you are trusting someone or something.

But what about God? Do you trust God?

Of course, you say. Of course I trust God! Trust Him to keep me safe and to keep me fed and clothed. I trust Him to forgive me and to love me always. Of course I trust Him.

But do you really trust Him?

The way I define trust is by explaining a game. This game, the name of which happens to be Trust, can be played by two or more people although a larger group works best. One person is selected to be “it”. Everyone makes a circle around “it”, standing an arm’s distance from the next person. The ones in the circle take a step back, enlarging the circle even more. “It” must fold their arms, shut their eyes and begin spinning. After they have spun for awhile, someone outside of the circle will call for them to stop. “It” must stop immediately. Whoever in the circle is directly behind “it” silently steps forward, while “it” must fall straight back without opening their eyes or back stepping to save themselves. The person behind “it” must catch them and right “it” back onto their feet.

Doesn’t seem too hard after reading it, right? It doesn’t, until you try it. When you’re standing there, arms crossed and eyes closed, and you aren’t sure if the person behind you has stepped closer or not, it’s very hard. You aren’t sure if they are strong enough to hold you or confident enough to try. You aren’t sure if you’ll be caught or if you’ll fall straight back on the hard floor.

But, you might say, if that was God standing behind me, I would trust Him! He’s God! How could someone not trust Him?

Once you’re in the middle of that circle and have stopped spinning, you have to fall back. Your legs automatically try to catch you. Your knees want to bend to help with the landing and your arms try to reach out behind you to brace against the ground. But you have to tell your body not to do any of that…It’s absolutely terrifying.

So, now that you’re in the middle of your problems, what is your automatic response? I think it is pretty safe to guess that most people’s response is to bend their legs and use their own arms to catch themselves. I can assume this, because I know it was, and still is at times, that way with me. I try to stop problems, find answers, control my feelings, all on my own.

When ‘it’ tries to catch himself, he normally ends up getting more hurt than he would if he had just fallen straight back. The reason for this is that, even with attempting to soften the fall, that is all that he is doing. The fall in inevitable, if there is no trust that he will be caught. So, he just tries to lessen his pain all by himself. He knows he’ll get hurt, but for some reason he would rather do that than to fall into the arms behind him.

Same with us as humans, I think. When we’re in the middle of a problem, we try to catch ourselves and fix it all alone. The pain and confusion is inevitable, so why not feel like we have more control over the pain than not? I have felt that. I know what it’s like to want to risk getting a little hurt as long as it means I’m in control.

I have been in the center of the circle as ‘it’. To tell the truth, I took on quite fast to the game and became quite the daredevil with falling straight back without pausing. Now, if I’ve already said that the falling is terrifying, why did I do it so quickly? Because the feeling of being caught is wonderful. When I fall back without thinking, and someone catches me and holds me for a brief moment, it’s a great feeling. Knowing that someone was there to grab me. Knowing that I trusted them and they proved my trust. It’s a very rewarding feeling.

And yet the fear of that one moment of helplessness drives us away from falling unthinkingly back into God’s arms. You can tell God all your life that you trust Him, but once you’re really in the middle of trouble, there’s a pause. Why is that? Because trust is giving up all control, all cares about the outcome of a situation. Just like you can’t control your body while laying back in someone’s arms in the game Trust, when you’re totally trusting God you don’t have any control over the situation. It becomes His situation and His decisions.

Trusting can be a moment by moment struggle. I know personally that it is more than just saying “Hey God. It’s all Yours.” It is stopping myself anytime I start thinking about my problem and changing the subject if a conversation leads into any what ifs and maybes. For me it’s directing my mind to think about God instead of my issue. And that is one hard thing to do, especially when I’m in the middle of something.

The actual act of day to day trust also reminds me of rock climbing. Those climbers have to completely trust their climbing gear before they swing off the rock and put all of their weight onto those straps and hooks. They are putting their very lives at stake trusting that their gear is going to stay and support them.

For me, at least, the realization that God was a strong support helped a lot with trusting Him. If I believe what He says and know that He will be strong always, then it becomes easier to completely trust Him.

But trusting God is not the cure all formula. I have learned through painful personal experience that God allows heartbreak, even when one is trusting Him and is completely in His will. It was hard for me to accept at first. If I had been completely trusting God, why wouldn’t He spare me from pain? Why shouldn’t I be rewarded for my trust and constancy? Through a lot of prayer, God was able to show me that the trust can’t be there without the heartbreak. Trust is realizing what the worst case scenario can be, and then accepting that if God allows me to enter that scenario, it is for my long term benefit and happiness. That’s my promise and hope. That’s why I can keep trusting Him.

It also is making my mind and heart remain in the present and not dwell on what ifs and maybes. That was very hard for me to do, and I will admit that I still struggle with it at times. But through prayer, God has been faithful. An excerpt I found in a magazine summed up what trust in God is for me, “Every day God calls us to keep trusting-to get out of bed and spend another 24 hours washing dishes, doing laundry, loving our family, believing He has everything under control–even when He seems silent.”